I had an amazing Thanksgiving at my house, probably one of the best of my life. There was nothing different about what was done, nothing different was said – there was just such an overhang of love and unity. See my fifteen-year-old cousin was in a hit-and-run accident over two months ago and he is still in ICU. Lee is in horrible condition – cerebral fluid started leaking out of his nose on Wednesday so brain surgery is going to take place later this week.

Know what I’ve found frustrating in this all? People don’t come along side you for the long haul. When Lee was first hit people were asking about his condition all the time and praying for him. When something big happens people rally around a person but after a couple weeks they seem to loose interest. I’m not just talking about my cousin; I’ve seen this pattern so many times. It just makes me wonder if we as Christian actually believe in perseverance in prayer. Is it just we want variety and grow tired of praying for the same thing…do we figure that if God doesn’t give us an answer after a week then that’s it? How long did Israel pray for the Messiah to come….I don’t I need to say anymore.

Today I played football in the snow with my youth group kids. I was one of two girls that actually showed up and I was marked by a man who weighed 240 pounds and gave no other name for me to refer to him by then “scrubs.” Needless to say I got hammered into the ground quite a bit but I got a few good tackles in myself! I outran him and was tossed the ball a lot but I have butterfingers (or we could blame it on the snow). My team lost 14:35…but we had fun.

Being home and relaxing has been great but I’m ready to get back to school for the crazy weeks before finals. I miss everyone, especially my best friend –the most amazing man I know, otherwise known as Matt. Here’s to Sunday.

Commitment. I don’t know what that word means to you…I think that it’s a word that’s been muddied by our society and has a changing meaning. In my mind that is not so, in my mind the word commitment means so much.

Commitment means that I pledge to do something – give my very word that whatever it is will be done, it will be so…I bind myself to whatever is promised. That’s huge. You don’t commit to something unless you will give it everything you have and make sure that it is kept. That’s what I think of when I think about the word commitment. Today many people view commitment as; sure I’ll do whatever it is if I feel like it at the time, if it fits into my schedule, if I care anymore…that’s sad guys.

No wonder there are so many broken homes – because commitments don’t last anymore. No wonder there are so many lukewarm Christians – because commitments mean nothing anymore. No wonder so many are abandoned – because commitments are blown off.

This mentality is so easy to catch. It all starts with shrugging a small commitment once and then it builds…are we people of integrity or not? It’s time to separate the mice from the men. Will you honor your commitments? Will you take them seriously?

On a lighter note…My time at home is going great. Its so nice to relax, but I will admit that my life is at TIU, as is my home. I did move into my sister’s old bedroom so that was exciting. I spent the day with my sister and her husband whom I have not seen since their wedding! We had a lot of fun. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and the feast is at my house so I will be cooking and cleaning for most of the day!!! If I don’t post tomorrow – have a great Thanksgiving…there is so much to be thankful for… love you all!

Oh well, nothing too exciting happened this weekend - pretty blah, but blah was more then welcome. Being busy is nice but a blah day is good if its not the norm. I'm excited to go home and get some needed stuff done...my mom made a weird comment to me the other day..she said, "You always have a million things up in the air at once." I wonder if that's true - and if it is, is that a horrible thing? I think it comes with being a ponderer (is that a word?) - I think and propose all situations and then go with what works, hmm, I don't really know what I'm saying anymore.

Tonight I had a black-tie dinner with my small group girls and our brother small group. It was a blast - I love those youths so much. I have such a desire to impact this world for Christ but sometimes I seem to lack the power...or is it the guts? It cannot be a lack of power because I have the earth shaking, universe exploding power of God running in my marrow. Maybe I should just admit to a case of lack of guts.

Last thought of the day - I use to write a lot. I really enjoy writing and always found time to do it - but now when I sit ready to write nothing comes. It's a scary feeling - like I have no more stories to tell. Like it was some phase that now I'm done with, I really hope it wasn't thought because I really liked writing.....

I'll go ahead and admit it outright, I'm in a grumpy mood. Well I guess its not so much grumpy as I'm really worn out with a situation that's been going on all semester. It's been a really blah day and on top of that I'm have this one constant frustration in my life that is just not going away. What do you do when someone insists on being outright rude and bitter? How do you help someone that is so clamed up and cold to being helped? How do you keep smiling when someone keeps putting you down and saying hurtful things? I'm tired and drained from this and I'm tossing my hands in the air because I have no clue what to do from here on out. I've talked with this person time and time again and there is no getting through to them.

On a better note there are so many people that I am so blessed and thankful to have in my life, like my family, Matthew, Angie, Michelle, Lauren, Evan, Nate (yeah that's you Gass), Brad, Bekah Blaski, Aimee, Tracy, Travis, Renee, Lisa, Rose, Mark Green, Dave Jones, Amber, Sara, Karolyn, Scott, Kristin Voss, Sajid, Barry, Cynthia, Josh, Aaron, Mandy, and others that I know I'm forgetting.

Chapel was awesome today. The speaker (in a thick scottish accent) preached on Romans 7-8. He talked about being hostile, helpless, and hopeful. Said that a Christian can only ever be hopeful because if you are helpless then you don't have the spirit. It was really challenging.